So anyway, I’m sitting here trying to come up with some Christmas gift ideas for my bride, when my eyes fall upon an ad for something called “Instant Pot.” Whoa! Can this really be what the name suggests? Has some genius finally designed a system for creating weed without having to go through the whole planting, cultivating, and harvesting thing?
Alas, upon reading further, the full details of the “Instant Pot” became clear … it is nothing more than a new kitchen appliance that can be used to cook a wide range of foods in a variety of ways. Sigh … well, I guess that is a pretty good idea as well.
In my defense, I am sure my initial thoughts about this product were driven by fond reminisces of my time working as a police officer at the 1969 Woodstock Festival, and the fact that this singular event only recently celebrated its 50th Anniversary. But come to think of it, perhaps there is more to it than just that … maybe there is, as some have suggested, some sort of a magical connection between Hippies, marijuana and Christmas.
For example, what should we make of the fact that the words C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S and W-O-O-D-S-T-O-C-K have the same number of letters? Or that S-A-I-N-T-N-I-C-K and W-A-V-Y-G-R-A-V-Y are identical in length? What about M-I-S-T-L-E-T-O-E and M-A-X-Y-A-S-G-U-R? Are these all mere coincidences? You be the judge.
There is even some speculation that Santa, himself, may be an occasional toker. Those who take that position cite, as evidence, several of his well known behaviors that are common to regular users of marijuana. For example:
Munchies It is a well known fact that smoking marijuana creates an appetite for copious amounts of tasty and binge-worthy food. Santa loves cookies … think of how many he eats in just one night!
Forgetfulness One notable side of effect of marijuana use is the way it is said to affect memory. Santa needs to keep a list for everything and, as we know, he has to check it twice. The guy can’t even remember who’s naughty and who’s nice!
Paranoia Like many marijuana users, Santa goes to great lengths to conceal his location and even his very existence!
Always Happy Stoners readily admit that, when high, it is difficult to suppress their giggles. Santa is always smiling, laughing and generally jolly. What does that tell you?
As the big day approaches, the classic poem “Twas The Night Before Christmas” comes to mind. In that magical piece from 1823, Santa comes down the chimney with the smoke of his pipe encircling his head like a wreath. Today, with recreational marijuana legal in twenty-one states and the District of Columbia, the fellow using the chimney rather than a door is likely the homeowner who opened his Christmas stash a bit early and then, while outside marveling at the moon and stars, locked himself out of the house. And the smoke around his head … well, you get it.